Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Witty comebacks for replying to breastfeeding harassment

Most breastfeeding moms have experienced it at least once. You're feeding your baby and some nosey stranger decides to insult you or ask you personal questions. Your meddlesome mother-in-law just has to share her opinion of everything you are doing wrong as a mom. Maybe your own husband is not fully supportive of your choice to feed your baby the way Mother Nature intended.

Here is a definitive list of comebacks and replies for all types of breastfeeding related harassment. Feel free to share your own comebacks in the comments section and we will add them!

"Are you still nursing?"

"Of course not! My mom weaned me a long time ago. My baby is though!"

"Absolutely, isn't it wonderful?"

"Right now? No, he's over there playing."

"I was never a nurse."

"Yes, his doctor is so thrilled. So many moms give up due to pressures of rude friends and family."

"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy."

"Yes, he deserves only the very best. "

"Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him."

"It's her turn, you'll have to wait in line!"

"When are you planning on weaning?"

"I'm not. He'll wean me."

(pause) "Oh, you were talking to me? I thought you were asking him...he can't answer you yet."

"Maybe when she moves out. She can always come home for a snack, though."

"When are you planning on minding your own business?"

"He hasn't told me yet."

"I haven't asked him yet."

"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together."

"What, and get my PMS back? are you crazy?"

"I weaned a long time ago, when I was two I think."

"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn."

"Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child."

"When will you give him cow's milk?"

"Whenever he becomes a baby cow."

"When he starts thinking he's a calf."

"Whenever human milk stops being the best for human babies."

"Breastfeeding is gross!"

"So is changing diapers, yet people do it all the time."

"The reason women have breasts is to feed their young."

"Hello? Did you not realize that humans are mammals?"

"Seems to me that you have some issues you need to work out."

"Feeding my baby with whatever it is that they put in formula is gross to me."

"Watching people stuff their faces in restaurants is gross. Should that not be allowed?"

"Watching people eating crappy fast food is gross, and they do that in public all the time!"

"Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"

"Gee, I don’t know. It must have something to do it with being free, always the right temperature, portable, what nature intended, and the best way I can nourish my baby."

"Have you checked out the price of formula lately?"

"Breastmilk is sterile and safe - the same cannot always be said for formula."

"Why give my baby something man made when I can give her what nature intended?"

"You should go feed her in the bathroom."

"Do YOU eat in the bathroom?"

"Why don't YOU go eat in a filthy bathroom?"

"If my breastfeeding offends you, I will be happy to ask your waiter to bring you your food in the restroom."

"How long are you going to do that? Shouldn’t you be feeding your baby solid food now? "

"I plan to follow medical recommendations: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and continued breastfeeding at least through the end of the first year. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years and beyond as long as mom and baby want to continue."

"Oh, until he goes off to college."

"Its just until I learn to cook!"

"Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?"

"You’re right, holding the baby, talking to the baby, changing the baby, bathing the baby, and spending time just being with the baby sure won’t be enough for him to bond with the baby."

"He will bond the same way fathers have bonded for their babies in the thousands of years before formula was invented."

"You want to get up in the middle of the night to nurse?"

"You’re right: I don’t want to get up; that’s why my husband gets up and brings the baby to me."

"I’d rather nurse in my sleep than schlep to the kitchen and try to mix, heat up, and feed my baby formula in my sleep … because I sure do love sleeping."

"We co-sleep. I just roll over, give him the breast, and go back to snoozing!"

"There goes your sex life. "

"My husband would be really shocked to hear that … especially after we … well, I’d better not say any more."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"How long are you going to keep nursing?"

"Oh, another 10 minutes or so..."

"Until I finish medical school to become a doctor!"

"Isn't he a little old for that?"

"Aren't you a little old to be wearing those jeans?"

"His doctor doesn't think so."

"What?! He's not even out of diapers!"

"Aren't you a little old to be randomly coming up to strangers and asking impolite questions?"

"He doesn't NEED to nurse at this age!"

"He doesn't need his teddy bear either and but we still give it to him."

(laugh) "Where did you hear that?"

"He can HEAR you, you know."

"And you don't NEED to eat that doughnut, but you still are."

"And you should be OVER the whole thing by now, are you still afraid of a breastfeeding child?"

Miscellaneous Responses

"If you are offended by me doing this, then you are looking too closely."

"Do you often look this closely at women's breasts?"

"It is illegal to harass a mother breastfeeding in public or to ask her to cover up. If you still have a problem feel free to call the police. You can explain to them why you are breaking the law."

And of course, you all know our favorite:

"If breastfeeding offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head!"

Monday, November 12, 2012

50% off The Breast Milk Baby + $5 to LLL!

The Breast Milk Baby has gotten a lot of scrutiny from the media and the public. Some think it is a great product to encourage kids to respect the natural way to feed babies, others feel it is disgusting and forces girls to "grow up" before their time. Americans in particular seem to have a streak of puritanism when it comes to breastfeeding (though many of the same people are totally fine with breasts used to sell cars or beer). Because of this, The Breast Milk Baby's attempt to enter the U.S. market hasn't gone that well.

In order to etch out a niche in the market for this product, the manufacturer has offered unique 50% off promo codes to various blogs, websites, and companies and in addition to they, they have offered to donate $5 per doll sold to the breastfeeding related charity or advocacy of our choice. For our unique promo code I asked followers on facebook which group they recommended, and the most popular choice seemed to be La Leche League. In order to get 50% off of your purchase of the Breast Milk Baby Doll and have $5 per purchase donated to LLL simply shop for the doll here and enter this promo code at checkout: BFBABIES

I've been fortunate enough to have a chance to try out the doll and review it.

About the Doll

The Breast Milk Baby comes in several different models representing both genders and multiple races. From what is currently on their website they seem to have Caucasian, Asian, and African dolls. They have several different outfits ranging from Cameron's boyish blue to Savannah's holiday outfit. When I first unboxed my doll the first thing I noticed was how soft its body was and how lifelike the face was. Also of note was that the clothes were better quality than standard doll clothes, made of thick fleece and terrycloth. They were closer to real baby clothes. I chose Cameron because I love it when dolls are available in blue/boy models instead of the usual pink. The dolls take AA batteries and there is an on/off switch inside of their body on the battery compartment.

It also comes with a halter top for the child who is playing with the doll to wear. These halter tops also vary in style. The girlier dolls come with pink floral top with flowers where nipples would be, Cameron came with a blue top with star nipples. These nipples contain the sensor that activates the doll's "suckling." When the doll's mouth is brought close to the "nipple" it begins to make drinking sounds and its entire face moves in a rhythmic sucking motion which represents newborn suckling quite accurately.  If you pull away before he is finished he cries and mutters an adorable "Mamamama...." If you nurse until he is satisfied and then begin burping him he will get the hiccups and eventually let out a huge burp. The only thing that would make it more realistic was if he spit up all over you too.

There are only two criticisms I can give the doll. One is that the halter top, despite being adjustable, barely fit my daughter and she is only 5 years old. I must admit though that my family seems to have abnormally large rib cages so her bust is probably more similar in size to the average 7 year old. If you are buying this for a young child or a skinny child then it shouldn't be a problem. For us, the problem was simple to remedy. I just attached a few strips of velcro and extended the bust by a couple inches.

The other criticism is the more obvious one: The price. Because The Breast Milk Doll is not a mainstream product and because its made with better quality than average dolls the price is quite high. That's why I think the best time to buy it is now while they have the 50% off promo going on. That's makes it no more expensive than many of the other dolls in stores right now that drink from bottles and eat baby food. I have heard some people say "Well my kids just pretended to nurse the dolls they already have, why should I buy a special nursing doll?" to which I answer "Why buy a doll that talks, eats, drinks, walks, wets, or does any of the other things that we pay more money for toys to do?" Its fun and kids like the realism. Is it absolutely necessary? Well no, not really. But I bet most of your kids' toys have unnecessary features. As far as battery powered toys in our house go, we don't have many, but this is one I don't mind one bit.



  • Exceptional Quality
  • Reinforces natural baby feeding instead of bottle feeding
  • Realistic suckling motions and noises, hiccuping, and responds to being burped
  • Soft body with soft and flexible head
  • Full price is quite expensive (best time to buy is during a promotion)
  • Halter top may not fit older/larger kids well