Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Witty comebacks for replying to breastfeeding harassment

Most breastfeeding moms have experienced it at least once. You're feeding your baby and some nosey stranger decides to insult you or ask you personal questions. Your meddlesome mother-in-law just has to share her opinion of everything you are doing wrong as a mom. Maybe your own husband is not fully supportive of your choice to feed your baby the way Mother Nature intended.

Here is a definitive list of comebacks and replies for all types of breastfeeding related harassment. Feel free to share your own comebacks in the comments section and we will add them!



"Are you still nursing?"

"Of course not! My mom weaned me a long time ago. My baby is though!"

"Absolutely, isn't it wonderful?"

"Right now? No, he's over there playing."

"I was never a nurse."

"Yes, his doctor is so thrilled. So many moms give up due to pressures of rude friends and family."

"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy."

"Yes, he deserves only the very best. "

"Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him."


"It's her turn, you'll have to wait in line!"


"When are you planning on weaning?"

"I'm not. He'll wean me."

(pause) "Oh, you were talking to me? I thought you were asking him...he can't answer you yet."

"Maybe when she moves out. She can always come home for a snack, though."

"When are you planning on minding your own business?"

"He hasn't told me yet."

"I haven't asked him yet."

"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together."

"What, and get my PMS back? are you crazy?"


"I weaned a long time ago, when I was two I think."

"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn."

"Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child."



"When will you give him cow's milk?"

"Whenever he becomes a baby cow."


"When he starts thinking he's a calf."

"Whenever human milk stops being the best for human babies."



"Breastfeeding is gross!"

"So is changing diapers, yet people do it all the time."

"The reason women have breasts is to feed their young."

"Hello? Did you not realize that humans are mammals?"

"Seems to me that you have some issues you need to work out."

"Feeding my baby with whatever it is that they put in formula is gross to me."

"Watching people stuff their faces in restaurants is gross. Should that not be allowed?"

"Watching people eating crappy fast food is gross, and they do that in public all the time!"



"Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"

"Gee, I don’t know. It must have something to do it with being free, always the right temperature, portable, what nature intended, and the best way I can nourish my baby."

"Have you checked out the price of formula lately?"

"Breastmilk is sterile and safe - the same cannot always be said for formula."

"Why give my baby something man made when I can give her what nature intended?"



"You should go feed her in the bathroom."

"Do YOU eat in the bathroom?"

"Why don't YOU go eat in a filthy bathroom?"

"If my breastfeeding offends you, I will be happy to ask your waiter to bring you your food in the restroom."



"How long are you going to do that? Shouldn’t you be feeding your baby solid food now? "

"I plan to follow medical recommendations: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and continued breastfeeding at least through the end of the first year. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years and beyond as long as mom and baby want to continue."

"Oh, until he goes off to college."

"Its just until I learn to cook!"



"Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?"

"You’re right, holding the baby, talking to the baby, changing the baby, bathing the baby, and spending time just being with the baby sure won’t be enough for him to bond with the baby."

"He will bond the same way fathers have bonded for their babies in the thousands of years before formula was invented."


"You want to get up in the middle of the night to nurse?"

"You’re right: I don’t want to get up; that’s why my husband gets up and brings the baby to me."

"I’d rather nurse in my sleep than schlep to the kitchen and try to mix, heat up, and feed my baby formula in my sleep … because I sure do love sleeping."

"We co-sleep. I just roll over, give him the breast, and go back to snoozing!"


"There goes your sex life. "

"My husband would be really shocked to hear that … especially after we … well, I’d better not say any more."

"Are you speaking from experience?"



"How long are you going to keep nursing?"

"Oh, another 10 minutes or so..."

"Until I finish medical school to become a doctor!"



"Isn't he a little old for that?"

"Aren't you a little old to be wearing those jeans?"

"His doctor doesn't think so."

"What?! He's not even out of diapers!"

"Aren't you a little old to be randomly coming up to strangers and asking impolite questions?"



"He doesn't NEED to nurse at this age!"

"He doesn't need his teddy bear either and but we still give it to him."

(laugh) "Where did you hear that?"

"He can HEAR you, you know."

"And you don't NEED to eat that doughnut, but you still are."

"And you should be OVER the whole thing by now, are you still afraid of a breastfeeding child?"



Miscellaneous Responses

"If you are offended by me doing this, then you are looking too closely."

"Do you often look this closely at women's breasts?"

"It is illegal to harass a mother breastfeeding in public or to ask her to cover up. If you still have a problem feel free to call the police. You can explain to them why you are breaking the law."

And of course, you all know our favorite:

"If breastfeeding offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head!"






234 comments:

  1. Um, LOVE THESE! Wish I would have been able to use them with my first child. Good thing I'm on number two :)

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  2. thank you for sharing. i giggled :)

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  3. awesome list! I never got a comment but think I went to fairly extreme measures to try to get one! Carry on with your brilliant page here!

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  4. It was good enough for [Insert name: Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, etc] so it's good enough for my baby. Christine Center Vally, PA

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  5. " i breast feed 'cuz I only want the BEST for MY baby..."

    and

    "... huh, I thought this was MY baby... Weird."

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  6. absolutely brilliant!!! going to try and remember as many of these as I can!!! i'm expecting number 3, mother and mother in law were the worst culprits! (in fact almost all of hubby's folks!)

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  7. how I wish I had these on standby when I was a nursing mother. I do recall my mother in law asking once "you're STILL doing THAT?" when my son was just barely a year old. My youngest is three and just weaned herself late this past fall.

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  8. Thanks for sharing these! Love it!

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  9. mom juice....
    the other white milk

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  10. LOVE these! My own favorite when asked why I breastfed my daughter was that my milk was nature-made, while formula was factory made. Or, "because I care enough to give the very best!" I suspect I caught even more flack because this was in the early 80's.

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  11. I love these. Definately could have used them the first time around. Thanks for posting.

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  12. I like to say that I don't require a burka. I wrote on the subject just last week: http://biglittledays.blogspot.com/2010/04/mama-dont-wear-no-burka.html

    ha! The ad at the bottom of the page is for organic formula.

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  13. Fabulous comebacks! My son is now 30 years old, and I breastfed him until he was 3, when he CHOSE to wean himself. I had ZERO tolerance for dumbass comments when I was breastfeeding him. I also refused to call it "nursing"; it was breastfeeding, and I wouldn't "water down" (haha) my language so that other people could be comfortable with what I was doing. Their discomfort is their problem, NOT mine!

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  14. love it love it love it :) there are realy some nasty people out there that feel they need to comment on how gross it is but u know what stuff em got plenty to say back now lol and fully intend to if confronted with breastfeeding baby number three :)

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  15. Love it! For "Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?", you really should add, "He tried, but he just doesn't have the equipment."

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  16. Love these! I have a friend who keeps asking me why I'm still nursing and why my son isn't on formula yet.....he's only 8 months!

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  17. "You should go feed her in the bathroom."

    "should I also change her diapers in the dining room? I always thought it was the other way around"

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  18. It was overall a nice collection of responses...I was thinking that they would be mostly rude, but only a few were borderline.

    However, as a non-USAmerian (raised elsewhere where breastfeeding is the norm), the responses did demonstrate this cultures transition into breast feeding. Because it is relatively new, and there are so many approaches and opinions, we don't have to assume that some of the questions asked like "are you still breastfeeding?" come with an emotional opinion attached to it. People who ask those sorts of questions are trying to become educated and understand.

    All questions to do with breast feeding can be used as an educational opportunity, as can public nursings. If someone is staring at nursing, it is a) because it is unusual for them to experience and b) it is lovely to see. It is probably the most purely beautiful sight and a lot of people are not privy to this sort of beauty. Let them catch an eyeful unless YOU are uncomfortable. I am a post-nursing mom and I LOVE watching babies nurse. Sure there is a breast there, but I am looking at the baby and what is effectively the spoon or fork of their current existence, so really no one goes around staring at forks.

    If we can get the boobs out there as the tool they are (oh, sorry, not for other grown ups fantasies) then in a generation or so that staring thing won't be noticed and will happen in a different way.

    While I appreciate that we have the breast feeding importance down, we don't have the social impact and the social necessity of changing the understanding of what boobs are. Maybe it is time for the next transition into social evolution where we don't see "strangers" looking at us, but our brothers and sisters. If someone creeps you out, that is a different story, but *looking* is an important component of social change. We get to look at boobs in their "fantasy version" all the time, but not in their "purpose version"--lets get it straight--Fantasy Version Boobs should have the eyeballs swaying away, Purpose Version boobs, IMHO, should have no impact at all.

    All this IMHO! We don't need to perpetuate sarcasm, because it defeats the purpose of being boob activists. Then again, there are all sorts of breast feeders, so I guess there are selfish and rude ones too.

    PS, I love this site!

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  19. For this one, "How long are you going to do that? Shouldn’t you be feeding your baby solid food now?", I always said:

    "Oh, are you going to give up liquids too? I guess you'll miss milkshakes, coffee, and soda."

    And for this one, "Isn't he a little old for that?", I often said,

    "Actually, all the rest of the apes nurse until their babies get their adult teeth, so we'll be nursing until she's five or six. That's great, because her immune system will be mature by then!"

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  20. my husband and i love these!

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  21. I especially love the 'I'll have the waitor bring you your food in the restroom' !!

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  22. Oh yeah, this one was my favorite back in 1999 when I was pregnant with my daughter and people would ask if I was going to feed formula, "I'm making my baby in my body, and I'll make her milk there too. Factories are for cars and TVs."

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  23. hahahaahhaaa! good stuff!!!!!!!!

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  24. Love them all! I am a mother of 3 and I will have to use these. Would to have loved to have these when I nursed the first two

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  25. Don't forget, mamas, half the battle is thanking and encouraging other mamas that you see nursing in public. A kind word and smile are almost always appreciated... and if you overhear someone questioning the mama, YOU can come back with the snappy answer on her behalf. We shouldn't stand by silently while other nursing mamas are harrassed, even once our kids are old and weaned.

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  26. I love these suggestions!!!! The next time some rude person says something to me I will be prepared!!! LOL

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  27. I still believe that the wave of the future is in our past and breastfeeding is just one of them.

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  28. Once while attending a baby shower a friend's husband started to chastise me for breastfeeding. The very last comment he ever made about it was, "Hey she is boobie feeding that baby on the couch over there." the baby was 3 weeks old! I was so postpartum that I whipped out the other breast and offered him a sip.

    Nobody ever said another word to me about it. And she went on the nurse until the ripe old age of 2!

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    1. LOL!! Brightened my whole evening!! Great response!

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  29. these are great. I have never been confronted for breastfeeding my first child in public; however, i was always so afraid of what people would see or say so I did it very discretely. Now with my second my thinking is that they are boobs. Who hasn't seem boobs. I am more bold as to where I feed my second daughter who is 6 months old and I will continue to do so as she needs. I am at her disposal and who cares what people say.

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  30. These are great and have given me a boost of encouragement. I have a 2 year old wants to nurse all the time but I got tired all the comebacks so we only nurse at home. Not now I am ready to fire back..

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  31. I nursed my son until he was 2 - he's 29 now and we love to gently tease him about how attached he was to "Mama's teewees". Whenever I see a Mom breastfeeding in public, I say "what a lovely sight to see" or something else equally as positive. We Moms need all the support we can get!

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  32. When asked by my mom how long I planned on breastfeeding my daughter, I said I never went to college, so I thought we could be roommates. She wasn't amused, but she did drop the subject.

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  33. I am still exclusively breastfeeding my 7 month old with the exception of attempted solids which he doesn't really care for. I totally agree with all of the arguments out there for breastfeeding and I think the comebacks on here are great. My question is whether people really are this harassed when breastfeeding?? I guess I have been lucky to not have anyone question my decision (except for the one comment my mother in law made about my baby seeming "small" but my husband told her to myob).

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  34. I love this list!! I wish I had been this witty when I was breastfeeding my daughter 15 years ago! I was so young and intimidated by all the rude people, even some supposed friends. I was more self assured with my son and did not let people push me around. Congratulations to all the Moms out there who do this for their babies!

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    1. Yes true - but surely as abn educated professional you can see the play on words?? "Nursing" was the old fashioned term for breastfeeding when one "couldn't" say the word breast in public!! like pregnancy - "that delicate condition" was once publicly treated as an embarrassing side effect of a (hetero)sex-life!
      Seriously you need to deal with the core-hurt in regard to your professional self-esteem and realise that nurses do more training of doctors than doctors, nurses decide when hospital patients need doctors, nurses implement the majority of care tasks prescribed by doctors as the single largest occupational group in the health workforce (A Snapshot of Nursing. ANF, 2010) It is just that the traditional pedgogy of caring is quintessential to modern clinical practice and why as an RN I am proud to be "just" a nurse to my patients but I am very lucky at the places I work the vast majority of medical and other doctors respect my professionalism and Profession of Clinical Practitioner

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  35. Maybe Facebook should put a blanket over its head. After all, we're not allowed to post breastfeeding pictures, but we can sure talk about it! Love the witty comebacks!

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  36. these are great but i am disappointed to see the Nestle Baby Formula ad below....

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  37. When asked when I will wean, I often respond that I don't think she will need to nurse after the prom.

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  38. When critisized for nursing in church, I learned from my lacation consultant to say, "I don't think that Mary went to her local Walmart to get formula for Jesus."

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  39. I posted a breastfeeding profile pic - no problem - maybe they (F book )_ have seen the light!!! We can hope!.

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  40. I love these but wouldn't want to sound rude when using some of them.

    I've never received any negative comments while nursing in public but was always expecting it and ready with a comeback or two. I did have a lady see me feeding at a NCSU football game and she told me to keep it up and that my baby would grow to be healthy and strong. ;)

    Just last night I had a teen (well, he's 18) who is close to our family ask if I was STILL feeding my 11 month old. I told him "Yes, why wouldn't I be? I'm a formula snob and don't want him to ever have it. He's my kid so get over it." In fact, he's the only person I've ever had comments from!

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  41. Here is a couple more: What do you use your breasts for?
    Did you use your breasts for feeding, or did you let them dry up while your child pulled on a nasty rubber nipple?

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  42. Love ALL of these - my MIL thinks I'm nuts for breastfeeding, cloth diapering and wearing my 3rd son. The economical advantages are the only way she can "justify" it :-) My big healthy boys apparently aren't enough...These are great amo!

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  43. "How long are you going to keep nursing?"

    "Until I finish medical school to become a doctor!"

    this one really needs to be removed- It perpetuates the mistaken belief that nurses are nothing more then glorified asisitants to physcians waiting desperatley to become a physcians ourselves... See More

    Nothing could be further from the truth- nursing is an autnomous independent profession in its own right- I never want to be a physcian- I do however, want to get my doctorate in nursing and truly be able to wear the title of "doctor" unlike physcians, most of whom have only finished the equivilant of a masters degree

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    1. Actually I agree with you, and I thought of the same thing when I added it. However, I decided to leave it because its simply meant to be a joke. Most people are aware that nursing is its own career and, in my experience, people tend to have more respect for nurses than for doctors to begin with.

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    2. Oh definitely! Nurses > doctors any day.

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  44. thank yall for this.. i have a one year old and he is still nurning... very body telling me that he is to old to be doing it.. but he will not drink milk ... but my.. so THANK YOU FOR THIS...

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  45. Very much enjoyed! Thanks!

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  46. I've never really breastfed in total public before, but I use to tell friends and family that I was just too lazy to deal with all the bottles. (I don't have a dishwasher)

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  47. I was told to nurse in the bathroom and I told the woman she could use the next stall to eat her lunch while I was nursing.

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  48. I think these are mainly great comebacks, however I'm a little disapointed in the ones who seem to dig at those who bottle feed (Did you use your breasts for feeding, or did you let them dry up while your child pulled on a nasty rubber nipple?) I had to express for my daughter who was born prematurely and unable to suck and had to give up after 5 weeks, my son I managed 5 weeks of very painful, constant feeding, bleeding nipples and, despite constant feeding being unable to produce enough milk for him. I would have loved to have been able to continue but sadly some women have no choice but to stop. I feel bad enough about it as it is without comments like that making me feel worse.

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    1. I'm sorry. I agree with you on that. Those sorts of comments will never be added to this list, nor are they appreciated on this page. Our goal here is to support breastfeeding and, when formula is brought up, we will share the dangers in an honest way without ever being condescending or insulting to bottle feeders.

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    2. I can tell you from experience that you're correct about number 3. After getting food poisoning when my son was 6 weeks and everything dried up despite my best efforts, now whenever I see a breastfeeding mother and baby I glance over with sad longing.

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    3. Sorry, that reply was supposed to go somewhere else. No idea why it went here!

      But I guess it still is fitting here too. My son couldn't/wouldn't breastfeed, we had a horrible time of it. So I expressed like a mad thing! Then I got food poisoning and that was that. I cried when I had to give him my last frozen batch of milk.

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  49. My best comeback is "because I'm cheap!"

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  50. I haven't ever had anyone say anything to me about breastfeeding in public, thank goodness. We are on baby #2 and I guess we have just been lucky.

    I think I would avoid using some of these responses, though. Many seem mean-spirited. I would prefer to educate those who are asking me versus alienate them.

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  51. Fantastic!! :-) I had some of these in my head ready for when I bf in public, but I was lucky to *never*, not once, have a negative comment and I bf *everywhere* but so discreetly nobody ever knew :-)

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  52. my son is still nursing and almost two. my husband is mortified. yesterday his friend told him that soon our son would be able to write a poem about how much he likes boobies. i am so hurt by the insensitivity! imagine, two guys, having a good laugh at my and my son's expense. i had no witty comeback, i am just sad for them and sad that my husband doesn't support my instincts. i guess i will have to send him a link to this page and see what he says...

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  53. follow this link to a great comic strip regarding breast feeding:
    http://www.mama-is.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/verycrafty.gif

    LOVE this site and all the supportive and funny comments! Keep it up mammas! We rock!

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  54. why is it that with all of these wonderful stories and supportive comments on breast feeding that there is an ad for organic baby formula at the end??

    a tad disappointing!

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  55. Leighann, from Manchester EnglandApril 16, 2010 at 12:36 PM

    you know what. I love breastfeeding, my first child did (who I breastfed until she was 2) and my 18 week old loves it too. People always have opinions, whether family, friends or strangers. I'm happy in the knowledge that I'm giving my children the best possible start to life. Who cares what the ignorant/uneducated think.

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  56. These are great! Too bad my (almost 4 yr-old) son is weaned; I would have liked to have used one!
    ;)

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  57. I was feeding my daughter in a restaurant once when an older gentleman nodded in our direction and said (LOUDLY) to his wife, "That is just offensive!"
    While I was deciding whether to ignore or address it, his wife (JUST AS LOUDLY)said, "Not half as offensive as watching YOU eat! Leave them alone!"
    Thank you to that wonderful, beautiful grandmother, if you read this!!

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  58. "Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"

    Well its obvious I can make plenty of milk, why waste my money?

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  59. I like to use when people think breastfeeding is gross or offensive, "Well, your masticating in public can be seen as offensive but there's nothing I can do about that"

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  60. Most of these are great comebacks to rude questioning. Keep in mind these would be for situations where the person is asking in a negative sounding voice why you are breastfeeding. I agree with those who don't like the ones that imply the ONLY way to deliver breastmilk is from the breast. It is narrow-minded to assume the baby drinking from a bottle is being formula fed. I've been watching TLC's "19 Kids and Counting". Michelle Duggar has been stock-piling breast milk in the freezer for her premature baby as per the doctor's instructions. I'm sure she's not the first mother to a preemie he's given that advice to. The only way Josie Duggar will get that breastmilk is via a bottle.

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  61. A complete stranger came up and asked me why I was nursing my twins instead of using formula. (Being a 38DD BEFORE the milk came in, you can imagine how well endowed I was at the time) My answer to her was "Are you kidding me?? Just LOOK at these gorgeous things!! I'm NEVER giving this up!!"

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  62. I was out of town last weekend and ended up nursing in the booth of a restaurant. No bad comments or anything, but the waitress was nice enough to bring an extra plate to cover mine to keep my food work while I finished feeding my 3 month old!! I was partly covered, but that was for my privacy, and didn't make a big deal about it, and no one bugged me at all.

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  63. Love the quick comebacks...wish I had some of these a while back when I really could have used them, mainly with family!
    1) To Anonymous with the almost 2 year old, don't feel sad...you are not alone. My son just turned 3 and hasn't weaned yet. Husband wanted it wrapped up a while ago but it's not his choice. American culture is so screwed up that it's going to take a long time before society gets over it's hangups.
    2) If someone is rude enough to make snide comments to a breastfeeding mom, they might get a sarcastic response...it's the price for not keeping their mouth shut. Someone who is just interested in the process wouldn't have an attitude.
    3) Someone who wasn't able to continue breastfeeding because of medical issues wouldn't be harrassing a nursing mom, so I don't see where the formula comments could be offensive to someone in that situation.

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  64. "When do you plan to stop?"

    Oh, in 5 minutes or so

    ~~~~~~~~~

    "When they are old enough to ask for it they are old enough to wean"

    What, you mean now that he knows how to articulate exactly what he wants I should stop giving it to him?
    or
    When he was three days old he would turn his head and open his mouth wide...that looked like asking to me. Are you suggesting I should have weaned him then?!

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  65. This is brilliant and I love all the comments. My son is 15 weeks old and I absolutely love breastfeeding although I found it hard (and painful) to start with. I have an amazingly supportive mother and an excellent breastfeeding group and councillor. I do however think that people who say that they can't breastfeed should think carefully about why. 100 years ago their babies would have just starved to death if they hadn't been breastfed. Can they really not do it or are they not trying hard enough? My husband hasn't given me an awful lot of support with breastfeeding, so I wasn't surprised to find out that he wasn't breastfed. My
    mother-in-law "couldn't" breastfeed...hmmmm!!
    To those mums with poorly babi

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  66. Cont from above... To those mums with poorly babies in hospital that are expressing breast milk to be fed by bottle, I have the greatest respect for you. It could be said that you had the biggest reasons to go on to formula. Nice one!!!
    Big love to all those breastfeeding mums out there that feel they a nit of support. Keep up the good work!!!

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  67. I live in the uk and rarely see anyone BF in public, sometimes I feel so alone! Glad to hear lots of women beginning to do it in US!

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  68. For "Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?", you really should add, "His milk hasn't come in yet."
    I looked extremely young for my age back in the day. I was 26 when my youngest was born but looked 12. I got many rude looks & comments. Most of my responses started with, "Not that it's any of your business..." After a while you just get tired of the uncalled for comments!

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  69. I'm so glad to read these responses. I recently was in an airport and had to deal with dirty looks my direction. As a first time Mom, this could have bothered me but it didn't because I know breast is best for my baby!

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  70. I was w my best friend & her husband out to eat oncw when our girls were both less thaan 6 mo, we were both nursing, I was nervous about nursing in public, but as they were leaving an older lady came by & told us what lovely, well behaved, baby girls we had & we ought to "keep it up". I never looked back! Now happliy nursing baby # 3 & we often nurse in public. I dont have any problem nursing in public but I do keeep myself well covered, its more of a respect issue for me. I dont want to see someone's breast hanging out of their shirt, so I dont go uncovered. But more power to those braver than I!

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  71. This is wonderful! I have to link this to others that I know of that will appreciate just as much. For those that posted who are getting comments about STILL nursing their 1 or 2 year olds... not to worry, I have a 3 year old that still shows no signs of stopping... as far as he's concerned it's his bedtime snack! I have family that have made rude comments to me - they were rather mean-spirited about it, and so got back what they dished out... I also breastfed his older sister until 10 months old (she went on strike and when she decided she wanted it again found there was nothing left). Between the two I've only ever had one negative comment made to me in public and it came from a woman handing out "Do you know Jesus" fliers... I responded I was familiar with him and that he was breastfed too!

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  72. I've had 4 kids - all demand fed. I only weaned my nearly 4 year old because I became pregnant with my now 17 month old and was working and exhausted and I wanted to wean him well before the baby came so he wouldn't resent her for taking his booboo ... and in any case, the milk changes composition to suit the newborn so was less beneficial for him.

    I have always been pretty subversive of the dominant paradigm to "be discrete" while breastfeeding - I feed my daughter while she sits in the shopping trolley while I do shopping, with my boob hanging out and down to her mouth while I push the trolley and grab stuff off the shelf - it is such a strong comment on how natural and normal and part of everyday life it is that no one has ever made a negative comment, but many women tell me how much they love to see it - I guess it is so overwhelming for those who can't handle it that they just don't know how to respond lol

    ReplyDelete
  73. Those are good comebacks, however, what is so wrong with formula? It is a highly regulated industry, and there are many women who don't have the choice but to give breastfeeding up. I have a five-month-old who wasn't eating enough. If I didn't supplement with formula, he would have died. Please don't make people feel bad when they have to use formula. I feel terrible about not being able to breastfeed, but at least my son is alive. Now I pump and give him one feeding a day of breastmilk, and the rest of the feedings have to be formula. That does NOT make me a bad mother. It wasn't my choice. So please stop knocking those who feed with formula, because it's not THAT bad. It may not be as good as breastmilk, but it is still nutritious and aids in the development of babies. Also, kudos to those people who ARE able to breastmilk. But I also give a kudos to those that have no choice but to feed with formula and still do the very best they can for their children.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  74. These were AWESOME!

    I do agree, though, that not everyone who asks these questions is looking to be rude or crude - so make sure you get the tone or inflection before spouting off some of these more "snotty" comments. I LOVE sitting in the Church nursery and we have 2 breast-feeding moms that come in and they know when I'm in there they can just sit and nurse and talk and it's all wonderful! Even when we have a male helping out - well, there are 2 rooms and he'll take some of the kiddos in the other room if they both feel uncomfortable! Take time every chance you get to encourage a breastfeeding mom - she needs all she can get!! And try, even when giving some of the more "snotty" responses above, to be dignified about it...we don't need more people that just think nursing is a way for mom's to behave like they are better than everyone else!!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Anonymous -- you're absolutely right. As a supplement, formula is great stuff. I breastfed both kids until 13-15 months (when they self-weaned) but as a working mom, by the time they were 7-8 months I couldn't pump enough to keep up and had to supplement with formula. I choose not to feel guilty about that, because my kids were still getting a lot of breastmilk. And I don't demonize the choices others make, but I do feel sad that we live in a culture where it's frequently the norm to choose formula instead of trying to breastfeed, or where moms who could successfully breastfeed "give up" because they don't have enough support or resources to keep at it. I feel fortunate to have had pediatricians who heavily stressed breastfeeding, and access to lactation consultants and a husband and family who supported me ('cuz let's face it -- it might be natural, but that doesn't mean it's always easy).
    Anyway -- kudos to you for doing the best for your baby.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I live in Japan, and the attitude is completely different. My first daughter is 5 months now and at 2 months we flew back to the UK to meet my folks, and I was breastfeeding her on the plane using a cover-up that she didn't like. Cue the Japanese ladies telling me they wouldn't bother with the cover up, just get them out wherever and whenever you need to, that's the way it should be. Haven't looked back since, although my two weeks in the UK breastfeeding was met with funny looks and comments such as "I don't understand why you would do that to yourself, you can't have a night out or get drunk". Yeah, cos that's what's important right now.

    Formula is fine if it's necessary; after all that is what its for. But it shouldn't be used to the point that people see breastfeeding as abnormal or weird.

    ReplyDelete
  77. This list is fan-tabulous! I will definitely be re-sharing on Facebook :-)

    ReplyDelete
  78. I am 7 months pregnant with my first child. I have every intention to breastfeed for as long as I can. I am glad to know i am not the only person who thinks it is ridiculous that American society still seems to frown on the most NATURAL act on the planet between a mother and child. Most of these comments are tasteful. Some of them push the envelope on rude, but... Some people are just rude and need a little bit of a put down when they force their ignorance on someone else...

    ReplyDelete
  79. Lovely post! I particularly appreciate the comments made by Neticia above. Snarky comments are sometimes warranted, but really, if at all possible to go with a gentle "teaching moment" approach to someone commenting about NIP, i think we as lactivists get more bang for our buck. A woman in my preschool the other day said to the group that nursing in public was offensive and women should behave like mothers an not like showgirls, "whipping it out" at the mall. She was from a country where women are required by law to cover their heads and bodies in public. She knows I'm the only one in class still breastfeeding their toddler, so it was hard to not take personal offense. I pointed out to her that there are very different cultural ideas about breastfeeding in public and in my culture there is nothing more "mother-like" than feeding a child when they are hungry, in a way that is comfortable to both mother and child (i.e., without a freaking blanket ober a squirmy 2-year-old in our case). I don't know if it changed her views, but she's certainly made a point to smile at me whenever I "whip it out" in the middle of preschool, wearing my breastfeeding t-shirt!!!

    I also think it's possible to promote breastfeeding without disparaging parents who don't!

    Also, in 2 years that I've breastfed, that's pretty much the only time anyone has remarked negatively to me about breastfeeding, but I kind of think where I live (Seattle) plus how I breastfeed (almost daring people to look and smiling when they do) makes a difference.

    ReplyDelete
  80. in response to mothers that "CAN"T BF or are they just not trying hard enough". I did TRY with my first and second child to the point of being in tears EVERY feed which was HOURLY for 2months straight it was not until the health nurse told me to use formula as they were both losing to much. i have now got a 1 month old and am trying AGIAN to feed.My body simply wont produce enough milk so the kid RIPPED me apart! Years ago when a women counldn't feed her baby they had 'wet nurses' to BF the baby or they simply give the baby watered down cow/goats milk. Please dont put us all in the same boat as a women who doesn't WANT to feed and those who CAN'T. You can not imagine the pain and GUILT you feel seeing your baby have a bottle for the fist time and wanting it to be YOU. Your comments only make things worse!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  81. I remember a little old lady coming up to me in a cafe when I was breastfeeding. I was prepared for a snarky comment but she said, "How nice to see baby enjoying his cappachino too." How sweet! I've never had rude comments but had a friend who got the most awful pressure from some of her friends, to the point where her husband even suggested she go feed in private (in her own home!!) when they visited. But good on her, she didn't give up and fed her daughter until she was about 2.

    ReplyDelete
  82. I cant see or feel like any of these women who post are criticizing ALL bottle fed babies.... DONT fall into the trap of reading insults into these posts.
    There is a BIG generalization allowed or the disclaimers at the end of the posts would out way the total number of posts and we would be bored to death by being politically correct! WE dont need to attack ourselves on this wonderful site SO anyone who couldn't breast feed or is a nurse or WHAT EVER else up sets you REMEMEBER this will surely be because you feel the need to validate yourself and that the posts are written with love and support for all women out there who "do the best they can with what they have " : )
    Love the come backs for what they are... education
    My fav is the one that asks us not to forget to help out a mum who is being harrassed .... but wouldnt we ALL do that anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  83. DH and I were in a restaurant and our baby was nursing. Someone asked about giving my DH a chance to bond with the baby. DH looked the woman in the face and said "Well, my nipples are a little too hairy for his liking". It was hard not to burst out laughing. We've chuckled many times about it. And my DH is now in year 5 as a stay-at-home dad. Trouble bonding? I think not!!

    ReplyDelete
  84. "Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"

    ...Why cook at all when you can just get McDonalds? or a softer one; Why cook at all when you can just eat out?

    and my favourite general one to use...you can substitute XXX for whatever they are criticising.

    ...oh no, we don't follow the *old fashioned* methods for XXX, we like to do what doctors recommend is best nowadays.

    ReplyDelete
  85. i used the mcds one just the other day.. a women in my life in anti breastfeeding and said it is not really better there are just different opinions i told her to do her research it is like saying mcds is as good as home cooking!! she never responded!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  86. i've used the following before....

    - if you take a picture it'd last longer than staring me down

    - want me to ask if he will share?

    - should i get you a bag of milk to take home?

    ReplyDelete
  87. My favourite ever response:

    "The only thing you should say to a breastfeeding woman is 'can I get you a glass of water?'"

    ReplyDelete
  88. Linda (Brianna, 3+y & Shannon, 15m & both still bf'ingApril 25, 2010 at 8:52 AM

    I love these! Plus, I am going to get your t-shirt for my daughter, 3y 8m, who YES is still breastfeeding! THANKS!!

    ReplyDelete
  89. Still haven't found a comeback to the "Is he yours?" or "Where did you get him?" questions.

    My son's biracial and I have actually had someone try to pick an argument with me about him being mine. Her main point was that it is possible for adoptive mothers to be able to nurse. I tried to shrug her off with "true, but that's not the case here". It was simply easier for her to believe that I'd go to the trouble to nurse my adopted child than that the healthy, happy toddler at my breast had come from my own body. Now that he's 7 we don't nurse in public.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Check out a few comebacks here at I should have said.. it is a funny web site.

      Comebacks Where's his real mom

      http://www.ishouldhavesaid.net/2012/03/wheres-her-real-mom-more-adoption-comebacks/

      Do your kids have the same father

      http://www.ishouldhavesaid.net/2012/04/do-your-kids-have-the-same-father-snappy-comebacks-how-to-answer/

      Delete
  90. Comeback to "when are you going to stop breastfeeding?"..."I won't be going to kindergarten for milk & cookies!"

    Kathy
    iamsmom@juno.com

    ReplyDelete
  91. I'm so thankful to live in a community that is mostly supportive of breast feeding! We were at the store the other day and I was breast feeding my 9 month old in the wrap carrier as we were shopping. And I received not one, but TWO compliments that I was doing a 'good job' being a mom! "Keep up the good work, mama!" "Awww. she's having a snack! Good work mama!"

    ReplyDelete
  92. Best cure for babies hiccup's!

    When I gave birth to my first child 5 years ago. I was told by midwives and the doctor to not give my baby water to drink as breast milk does both feed and water your baby. At least for the first 4 months. If bub is thirsty or it's a hot day, breast feed more often. I was happy with that and it worked. He never suffered. I thought I would share that info with a member of the previous generation who's reaction was to laugh at me. Oh how hurt I felt!

    I was very shy about breastfeeding in public 5 years ago. I then went from being shy to ok with it but still covered up and or found a quiet corner. I felt the same as most bf mother's though. If anyone was to frown at me as they have. I would just think my defensive response. "Yes. I'm breastfeeding. If you have a problem with that then you'll no doubt join me in the fight for cleaner and larger Parent's rooms?" Grrrr.

    ReplyDelete
  93. This was a great list! I laughed out loud multiple times -- my DH wanted to know what was so funny! I like that there's a mix of responses -- to inform, shame, shut down, and dodge, depending on the situation.

    My son Nicholas is 14 months old and nurses 3-4 times a day. I feel very fortunate that I've NEVER encountered a rude comment while nursing in public. (I've had one family member ask multiple times how long I plan to nurse, and I get an "uneasy" vibe from some others, but I'm very lucky to have gotten mostly good support -- or at least closed mouths -- from them too!)

    I did use a cover for the first 6 months or so, but then it became more of a hindrance than a help because he was so distracted by it. Fortunately, around that time I joined a moms club and met some women who showed me by example how I could nurse without a cover and reveal little to no skin. Of course by that time, Nicholas wasn't nursing as often and usually not while we're out of the house. Next time I will start cover-free from the beginning! And I will tuck these retorts in the back of my mind in case I ever need them!

    ReplyDelete
  94. To the person who said 100 years ago babies would have died without breast-feeding, so maybe modern moms having problems aren't trying hard enough?
    Do you have any idea what the infant mortality rate was 100 years ago? Babies starve to death all the time when mothers have no options. Breastfeeding is best, but it isn't always an option, especially with women in Western cultures waiting until they are older to have kids then ever before. It's the same with c-sections.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My aunt had to have goats milk as a baby instead of formula/nursing. There were options 100 years ago. It's just a matter of what the first choice should be.

      Delete
  95. Some rude person told me to feed my babies in the restroom. I used the "Do you eat in the bathroom?" one on her and everyone in earshot started applauding, and one person even said, "Way to stand up for your baby", and then turned to the rude person, and said "You should mind your own business!!" Well, at that, she dropped her fork, stood up and went and paid for her food and left. I never felt more positive about nourishing my children than when a whole restaurant of people stood with me and told this person to bug off.

    ReplyDelete
  96. As a mom who didn't have her milk come in, and had to switch to formula so that my daughter (after a month of not gaining her birth weight back) could gain her birth weight, These are great comments!

    Though....to be offended that there's a formula ad at the bottom of a breastfeeding page, is (in my opinion)the same thing as being offended that there's a nursing mother "over there"....offense goes both ways. (meant in a nice way) =)

    There are some women who use both formula AND breast milk, who might find the ad helpful. =)

    Way to go, great site, and if I have another child, I will definately try nursing again, because I was soo torn when I had to switch to formula, as I was always told every mother can breastfeed by the La Leche League, and clearly, I couldn't. Not even with a consultant. Do you know how awful that feels? I felt like a freak. But, now I know, it's common sometimes for milk not to come in, and sometimes people CANNOT breastfeed.

    My next cild, I will try again to breastfeed, and I will remember some of these comments to tell people who are just downright rude and nasty.

    Keep up the good work on the site, and to the rest of you Moms out there, Live, Laugh, and Love! Be yourself...no matter what they tell you! =)

    Peace, guys!

    ReplyDelete
  97. Breastfeeding IS best, but like many other women here have said, sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it is not an option for everyone.
    I have a great deal of scar tissue in my breasts, but still, when I had my children, I wanted so much to feed them "naturally." Unfortunately, though I produced enough milk, it would not "let down." My son had to suck really, really hard all the time. (Expressing didn't work. I could pump for hours, and get no more out than about a half-ounce of milk, often bloody.) It got to the point where he was burning too many calories trying to eat than he was getting. (Imagine how painful that was, both emotionally and physically - I sobbed as I bled.) I had no choice but to supplement or he would have starved to death. He was ok with that. He grew to be a very strong, healthy young man.
    My daughter, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with the effort of breastfeeding. Once she had a bottle, she was not interested in the breast, though I offered at every feeding up until there was no milk left in me to offer.
    Again, I whole-heartedly support those who choose to breastfeed, but I ask those of you who are lucky enough to be able to do it successfully, please do not sit in judgement of those of us whose children's lives were saved by the availability of formula.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I'm a dad who would like to applaud all the Moms out there who give of themselves for their babies. We have four kids all BF and the youngest is two years old. None ever had formula. All are very healthy and happy including Dad...

    ReplyDelete
  99. Whatever the mother chooses to do with feeding is the best, whether it is BF, or formula, being very discreet, or 'letting it hang out'.
    I would like for all new moms to have the information of why BF is so good for their child, passing on immunities, right temp, easier to digest, etc before making the choice of what is right for her; as she is the one who has to be comfortable with her choice, and she will pass that comfort level on to her child.

    ReplyDelete
  100. i,ve been bf,for 4 years, my first for 15.5 months and 2nd for nearly 3 years and counting, with a 2 month gap inbetween, i can honestly say it has been one of my favourite things about motherhood, apart from knowing you are doing the best for your precious baby, and comforting them so easily, i get pleasure knowing that my kids know what boobs are for and will hopefully bf and encourage bf (my son), so i know the next generation is bf, i dont think 4 years could be better spent.

    ReplyDelete
  101. I recently posted something on another blog and one lady responded that she was at a mall and a man was staring at her like she was in a zoo while she was breastfeeding and she simply looked at him and winked then said Want a sip?

    I don't know how she could keep a straight face!

    ReplyDelete
  102. the one that helped me with my first is what my mum said" you dont see a cow bolting behind a tree to feed her calf"
    coiming from a farm it was on thing i tell every one

    ReplyDelete
  103. I was 20 when I had our first son. I sat in a cafe when he was about 3 months old to feed him. As I was shy about feeding him in public, I chose my seat carefully. I faced the corner in the quietest area in the cafe. After about 10 minutes, an old couple sat on the table next to me. About 2 minutes in I heard "Oh, I shouldn't have to look at that!" I ignored it thinking perhaps I was being paranoid. Then I heard "I can't eat my dinner watching THAT!" I turned to check if I was the subject and said to the lady "Sorry?" She said "Would you mind moving? I'm trying to eat my lunch here!" I said "Well, my son is having his lunch too." she said "Well, why don't you feed him in the toilets?" I said "Well, because it's a toilet. I'm not being rude, but we were here first." lady said "Well you're putting me off my food!!!" I said "Well then, perhaps YOU could take YOUR lunch in to the toilets?" She huffed and said "Come on Brian, we'll sit over there! HOW RUDE!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  104. Ironically I got the exact opposite reaction- because I was unable to breastfeed due to multiple reasons I went to formula rather then starving my baby yet every single person decided they needed to comment on the fact I was a lazy mum but using formula- best response I had to one old lady (who had just scolded a breastfeeding mother before coming over to scold me) was "There is just no pleasing angry little b*****s like you is there?" she went bright red and stormed off while the other mother and I laughed

    ReplyDelete
  105. I have had to use these responses for. My husband has used more. He is very passionate about women who are able nursing their children wherever, whenever.

    ReplyDelete

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  108. sweeet post! I have no issues with BF in public, in fact I am sooo confident and happy about my skills and nutritious offerings it simply beyond wonderful. Yes the biggest offeders are the MIL and my step-MIL , and slightly my mother (mostly I think out of skight jealousy as she had to return to work when I was barely month old)
    My MIL looks the other way......(too bad/her loss...as,it really is THE MOSY AWESOMEST BONDING U COULD SEE) She parented (my DH) 180° opposite of me (i kept DS intact, vax free, co-sleep, EBF, Elimination Communication, attachment parenting, and no baby talk)
    My step-MIL has audacit+naivety (at Easter) to say after watching DS clusterfeed, then hang out on comforting Woobie, she says "YOU ARE STILL NURSING?? HE is going to be 300 #.........
    Hmmm, geez woman ....u are assuming that he is nursing....he doesnt even have the nipple in his mouth....just below his chin ...so he can access when he needs to ....and yeah he finds extreme comfort on his uber soft uber warm Woobie. And hmm no he has to work for every drop of breastmilk, we wont see an obese child or adult....no worries .

    Lastly, I feel lucky and honored that I can offer the best nutrition to my DS....i choose to eat extremely healthy,.(steamed veggies, lean proteins, Omega oils, no pop, no medications,Gluten Free)

    And BF is very honorable in Malaysia (i recall correctlly)

    Cheers!

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